Mark C. Miller: Your Introduction to the World's Most State-of-the ...

"Thank you for your patience in waiting to enter the state-of-the-art, climate-controlled Piedmont Parking Structure -- or PPS, the official parking structure of the Piedmont Shopping Mall. ... of the PPS's twenty-seven levels is patrolled by no-nonsense armed guards, former officers in the Russian Secret Service, each of whom carries an Uzi, mace, flares, handcuffs, a stun gun, and is accompanied by a trained attack dog that has not been fed for at least twelve hours. ...